Where's My Gun???

A friend and I always joke about the stage management gun. This theoretical gun and a number of bullets would be issued to the stage managers, one bullet per cast & crew member plus 2 per director and designer. Now I'm wondering if there needs to be one issued to each designer. I'm currently doing sound design for a comedy. This is not a hard show to run - or as I told a friend of mine, this is not the theatrical version of rocket science. In fact, this is about as easy a show (from a lights and sound end) as possible. Instead, we're having "operator issues" (ie. the stage manager is not calling the show correctly). The lighting designer, stage manager and myself have now had 3 cue-to-cue rehearsals. For the theatrical outsider, cue-to-cues are rehearsals where we go from one sound/light cue to the next, in order, without all of the acting in between. For this show, this means going from the very beginning when the audience files in, to the curtain speech where they tell you to turn off all audible electrical devices, to when the actors first enter the stage. After that, we go to 2 sound effects in the middle of act 1, then intermission. After intermission comes the actors entering the stage for act 2, 6 sound effects, then curtain call. Not that difficult. Did I mention we held 3 cue-to-cues for the benefit of the stage manager? The last 2 were held right before shows with an audience. It's very disheartening to get there early for a hand-holding, private coaching session with the stage manager only to not see and hear any of the fixes during a real show. At this point, it's not a difficulty issue, it's a competency (or lack thereof) issue. This person should not be in the position of stage manager. Heaven forbid this person work on a show that's actually difficult. I think it would drive this person to a sanatorium!

On a different note, I judged a kareoke contest last Sunday (see my Nemesis' blog). I noticed he failed to mention me in his blog. (Ahem, ahem, cough, cough.) Judging the finals (thankfully) meant that I was judging the good singers. It was a tough competition, and as I predicted, I was the Simon of the judging panel. We had each finalist sing 2 songs (one fast, one ballad) and after their second song, we each gave our comments. I thought I was going to be lynched or at the very least, have my tires slashed. Yes, I was very critical (this was the finals, after all), but all of my criticisms were constructive. Let's just say I was not very popular with many of the cheering sections that attended that night. My life and my tires, however, remained intact and I was able to leave in relative safety, if not a little less popular.