How Did You Get In???

So I'm talking with my nemesis and we're complaining about how stupid the general public can be. My big amazement is how some of these people have matriculated to college! There are people still coming in to buy their textbooks NOW, 3 weeks before finals. Here's one of this week's conversations, which, unfortunately, not a unique conversation:

Shumck: I need a book.

Me: Ok...What book do you need?

Shumck: Um...I'm not sure.

Me: (fake smile plaster on my face) Ok, what subject?

Shmuck: I think it's English.

Folks, telepathy is NOT one of my superpowers!


Me: Who's your instructor?

Shmuck: Ms. _____.

Me: Oh, you need history.

Shmuck: Oh yeah.

Me: History 1 or 2?

Shmuck: Um, I don't remember.

Did I mention it's about 3 weeks before finals?


Me: Did you need a textbook or a novel?

Shmuck: I need the textbook. I'll recognize it when I see it.

Alright, most of our history textbooks are by the same publisher and have very similar bookcovers. Shmuck ain't got a chance!

(5 minutes after Shmuck stares at the shelves)
Me: Do you have your syllabus? It will be listed on your syllabus.

Shmuch: It's at home. I'll have to go home and check it.

Folks, there are suppose to have tests to keep these people out!!!!!!!!!